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I Survived The Titanic

i survived the sinking of the titanic 1912

jokes about the titanic

The story:

The slithering iceberg had done its work to H.M.S Humanity; Which had been commanded by Capt. Adam, and First officer Eve. Who had moments earlier steamed humanity portside right into the lies of that iceberg.

The menacing and deceiving iceberg, tore a long murderous gash across her portside bow.

Commodore Christ Approached the bridge, Confidently and in complete control of the situation.

Entered into the bridge of the H.M.S Humanity. Capt. Adam, and First officer Eve, were bickering Back-and-forth over who was responsible for the disaster..

The Commodore calmly but Sternly rebuked both - condemning both Capt. Adam and first Officer Eve, to the ship's fate.

H.M.S Humanity began to List as she took on cold Damnation Water, at about halfway through Genesis 3:15. She began to slowly go down by the head.

The idolatry had begun.

"I didn't ask to be made." "I didn't ask to be made like this." "How can God judge those who never even heard of the name of Jesus Christ? That's not fair?"

Those who were on board the mortally wounded H.M.S Humanity were Stuck in their idolatry.

Most Clung to faults idolatry human wreckage. The wreckage that was made in Humanity's Image, and became their symbols of salvation, which was in truth nothing more than bondage to the slavery of idolatry which would prove fatal for many.

Anything and Everything, was fashioned into an Idolatrous Symbol.

For though they claimed to be wise in their self-rescue idolatry, they demonstrated their foolishness in their demise.

Most ignored the Rescue Boats alongside the doomed H.M.S Humanity, for They preferred their chosen saving devices.

Therefore, the Commodore gave them over to their foolishness. As he began to Unsecure the rescue crafts alongside HMS humanity.

Those who listened to the Commodore commands to forgo their idolatry and repented of their sins, were guided to the lifeboats.

The rescue boats Began to fill with those who the call reached.

Even so though stock in idolatry began to laugh at those boarding crafts of eternal life.

For the crafts were foolishness to those who were


The boats were launched and H.M.S Humanity sank by the end of Genesis 3.

Shouts from Sinners in the cold damnation water cried out with.

"Christianity is a cult." "Women's health rights." "My body my choice."

The Commodore Overseeing the life crafts, organizing his rescue boat, and planned his return to those floundering in their wickedness.

Transferring crew members into the Commodore's lifeboat. The Commodore made his way back to the site.

Where moments Earlier H.M.S Humanity had met its untimely fate.

Toilet bowl sinner mate 3rd Class Johnson Account during the Inquiry:

"Moving through the Old Testament Accounts, to Modern day accounts; Our rescue boat carefully Pushed away from the "Humanities" wreckage that was laden before us. We checked all around for life.

But Finding only sinners who wanted nothing more than to be left alone to indulge in their False hope; self-gratification, self-desires, and self-belief of saving one's self we would only Rescue a few.

"I remember calling out Amongst the idolatry:"

"Hello!" "Is there anyone ready to repent! For make your voice known to us! "

"Go to hell!" One Darwinism Believer Angrily Shouted back to me, I saw him Clenching his Fish to philosopher idle Wreckage as the Damnation Waters eventually overtook him. Dreadful sight.

I remember hearing a man who claimed to be a girl tell me:

"Take your bigotry elsewhere For I was born this way."

Next to the Confused soul was a Female who Angrily shouted.

“I Don’t Believe in God!" she Then tries to argue why killing 6 million Jews is Morally wrong, but abortion is Morally good?

"Your Religion is Hateful and not Affirming." a distant voice flutters down, which covers the cold glassy calm dark Damnation waters. Just out of sight of the gospel lamp.

"A dreadful night, a night that I shall not Forget."

Testimony from toilet bowl Sinner Smith:

We look over to our Commodore who says nothing but looked lovingly onto his crew members, he motions us to keep going forward.

We did as our master Instructed us, we Obeyed his word. We Position the Gospel oars into the water and Carefully inched forward.

We Shine that gospel lamp forward port side, starboard side, and Aft side. Oh, how we Shine that gospel light into Utter coldness and Darkness.

I Remember Johnson at the bow crying out.

"Make your Voice known to us!" "Make your Profession a faith known to us!" Repent! You sinners! and be saved! from your Folly."

Only to be met with more calls of Blaspheming Against the Rescue Boat and her Commodore and crew members."

The blue gospel lights Strike's the tops of the sinner's heads as the sinner's cling to their Idolatry wreckage to keep Afloat.

10, souls, 20 souls, 60 souls, 80 souls, tell the Rescue boat to "Go to Hell".

Toilet bait sinner fourth class Jones Testimony:

It really is telling of the human condition, I mean sir, it's heart Breaking to see so many people willing to succumb to their idolatry then to be saved.

You're message is a message of Terror" you Self-righteous Moron".

A young Lady told me.

Your Wasting you're time with you're Mythology She add.

yet we continue steadily forward.


After what seems like a Futile Attempt, or a waste of time, we hear that Pitiful sound. That Glorious sound!

"I repent of my sins."

Did you hear that Meek sound! Toilet bowl 3rd class Spurgeon asked. Used tampon mate second class Edwards, respondent back to Spurgeon with.

"I don’t know?" The crew-members turned to Face the Commodore at the tiller of the boat. Who was looking off to the Starboard side.

"Help, help, help" the Quiet Voice Called out again. "There he is!" toilet bowl Fourth class Wesley says in excitement, as hecklers and blasphemers continue with their onslaughts of profanity.

We Shined the light gospel lamp on the Starboard side, towards the sound of "helps".

and Shined the Gospel lamp on a soul who was weak and dying 200 feet away. "There sir!" Cries out a low-ranking Used tampon mate 4th class. "Over their sir!" Says another. "I see him!" Says one more.

All onboard are Excited. And Spirits are Lifted. The Commodore is Calm and in Complete control; very Little is Needed to be said.

"Put your backs into its boys!"

Cries out the leading Toilet bowl Saul who grabs onto an ore and Begins to Set the Pace of rowing. "Come on you Repentive Toilet bowl sinners! I don’t recall hearing in the Scriptures where Slacking was Permitted! "

A voice closes to Saul calls back.

"Rescue those who are about to Drown? Isn’t that correct sir?"

Says a younger Repentive sinner to the leading Toilet bowl. "Very Good, my brother in the lord. Now put your backs into it and Row!"

"Row As if You Love Your God first in your neighbor second!" "Row, Row, Row!" The Cadence was set.

The little Rescue boat picks up Pace as it Zoomed on past, those who wanted their Idolatries.

Closer and closer the rescue craft came, inching closer to that one who was struggling in his Tribulations.

"Oh, how it was Cold that night! a Night to Remember". Those Frigid damnation waters, the water of no Friendship to the righteous, but deserving to those who are not righteous.

Finally, the order was given to slow the boat as the little Rescue craft Came near to the Helpless and Utterly incapable sinner, barely alive in those cold damnation waters.

The Rescue boat Shines the gospel Lamp over on the small group of sinners, that Were Huddling around the wreckage of self-desires, self-pleasure, self-being hood, and self-Identity. For they have placed their faith in Salvation from Humanity Wreckage that was taking on water, and becoming damnation logged.

Most took Absolutely The slightest of interest in the gospel Lamp or the light in which that little lamp produced. Barely any cared about the little craft that rested mere feet away from them.

"Bugger off!"

A Dying man said

"Why do you keep calling for people to let go of their most precious possessions? Don't you see? that these are the things that are keeping us afloat."

Another dying sinner said.

"Why can’t you just Affirm us in our affairs?"

A crew member on board the little craft looks to the master then back to the unrepentive sinner gripping his idolatry.

In a kind manner, the crew-member spoke.

"Sir, it’s because your Wreckage of sexual lust and Earthly desires will Tear you away from your Commodore". You will never take your Gaze off of it and will Swamp the boat if you take your water log Idolatry on board.

Let it go, friend. Let it go."

"Bugger off to you! And your cult!".

The one who had called for help turned about and away from his Human wreckage of Sexual - immorality and turn to Gaze at the gospel blue light of hope.

The Cold and dying man Barely with the Strength to Speak, voiced up.

"I repent."

The soft voice calls out to the lifeboat that was inching closer to the Group of sinners in the water.

"Sirs, I repent."

The helpless sinner, said one last time as his week and helpless head slumped down and Began to slip under the Cold ice Damnation waters.

"Sir! We're Losing him."

One low-ranking Used tampon 2nd Classmate shouted out in panic. As the Denominations group of sinners on board Began to Fumble for life Preservers to throw to the helpless sinner in the water.

"Splash!" a sound Was heard. the Rescue boat Bobbed up and down in the calm Damnation water for a slight. The fumbling Denominations, and secondary issues of the crew members, Entangle themselves with gear. All stopped and looked back over to the spot where their Commodore had been. The spot Was now Empty. By the time the crew members look back to the Starboard side, their Commodore was with the week sinner. And was already by the Starboard Side of the Lifeboat. With foolish looks of Stupidity on their faces, they begin to try to pull the sinner Aboard. Even before the sinner was brought on the boat the Commodore Had Already climb back on board. And Made his way to the Starboard side to Finish in the work of saving the sinner. The Commodore pulled in the sinner, and the sinner collapsed onto a group of gospels crew-members.

"Thank you, sirs,!" The sinner says as the Commodore Covers the sinner with a Spirit-Filled blanket. The Leading toilet bowl Saul looked at him and said.

"For there is the only one that Deserves your Gratitude and that is your new master. For you are now part of the Saved of Christ. And glory to his name for He is our master. And his mission is our Lives"...

To you, all who are still clinging to your Human wreckage, of Idolatry, in Pornography, sexual lust desires, race Obsession, Covid Obsessions, Face Diapers, Soul Government autonomy, Etc.. I pray that you let go of your idolatry. Turnaround and look for the gospel lamp, and it's light.

I say to you, the master will be there for you, even when you think you are Alone.

Repent and turn from sin, and be Cloak in the Righteousness of his.

Be Rescued from the cold grips of Damnation. Be covered in the spirit of God. And Rejoice in his namesake.

As for we crew members of Christ. Chastises as you will, call us out as monsters as you do. Hate us for our calls. But note this we will not, we cannot stop searching. And will continue to do so until the master, the Commodore, Christ Jesus is satisfied with his rescue.

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